Monday, January 28, 2008

The Penthouse Goes Orange

This weekend I had visiters at the Penthouse!

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Laleh, one of my best friends from high school, brought down two of her gal pals from Syracuse (Chae and Mary Clare) to enjoy the big city. "So we have a Persian, an Irish girl and an Asian, and we're in a Caribbean neighborhood," I told them upon arrival. "I feel like we're at a model UN meeting."

I felt bad because I was a lazy-ass and STILL hadn't done laundry upon their arrival, but they were still impressed by the penthouse. Friday night we did the token Times Square thing,

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because I make all of my visitors ride the ferris wheel at Toys 'R' Us and get a souvie pic. We rode the Monopoly car.

After that and a bite to eat at McDonald's, we ventured up to Midtown to walk by the ice skating rink and to hit some clubs ... or so we thought. Because at 52nd and 5th, the incident happened.

I was uncharacteristically in the back, with the girls in front. One second the crosswalk is entirely clear with no traffic coming. A blink later, and a honking taxi cab speeds through a red light. I hear "CHAE!" then a "WHOA" and I see that Chae is on the ground. The cab pulls over and Laleh and Mary Clare chase it down, while I stay on the corner with Chae.

"Are you okay?" I asked.
"It hit my foot," she explained. A very nice couple talked to us -- the husband seemed to be a doctor and his wife seemed to be a lawyer -- while their friend walked with Laleh to get the information from the cab driver as Mary Clare joined me and Chae. Chae was able to stand by herself but admitted being afraid to walk on her foot. We called an ambulance just as a precaution, as it seemed a good idea to get an x-ray. We didn't get the names of the couple, and I wanted to thank them, as well as be their friends, because they seemed who I wanted to be in ten years.

The ambulance from New York Presbyterian Hospital arrived rather quickly. "Oh, good, Presbyterians!" Laleh cried.
"Stop making fun of my religion all the time," Chae whined.
We asked the driver where he was from.
"Flawahpawk Lawnilin," he said.
"How do you say that if you aren't from New York?" Mary Clare asked.
"Floral Park, Long Island," he explained.

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The driver got back to his seat while the four of us hopped in the back of an ambulance. "We can turn on the siren," the driver said. "For all these people know, she's dying back here."

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Chae explained that the boots we were all making fun of possibly saved her foot, and had she been wearing sneakers her foot would have been crushed. Laleh and Mary Clare promised to never make fun of the boots again.

"Oooh, I've never been to the Upper East Side before," I told myself as we continued going uptown. Up around the '70s, the driver took us through a reserved area of Central Park as a way to get to the hospital faster.
"Well, we saw Central Park," Laleh noted. "At least we can cross that off the list."
"Good news," the EMT in the back told us. "You're under 21, so you get to get checked in on the pedes floor." That meant toys and fun pictures on the wall!

In the parking lot, Mary Clare interviewed an orderly who spoke with a strong African accent. "Did you have any interesting cases tonight?" she asked.
"No," he said. "And now I go home to my drink."
"That's what WE wanted to do!" I whined.
"You can not have drink!" he cried. "You are just baby!"
"He's actually the oldest one here," MC said under her breath. Then I felt old.

Chae rolled in, got checked in, and ... then we stayed at the hospital. For a long ass time. She ended up not having a fracture, we took a cab to the closest subway, took the 4 train home, and ended up not getting back to the penthouse until six in the morning. Ugh!

The next day, we hit Canal Street (Chinatown/SoHo) to hit up some shopping. Laleh is an expert barterer as she has experience of watching her dad in Iran. None of the Chinatown vendors talked to Chae. Walking through SoHo filled me with an unhealthy desire to be insanely wealthy. We also stopped by this restaurant, which made me think of my friend Diva!

On the way back, Chae had to go to the bathroom really bad -- and not that kind. When the train hit the stop, her and I sprinted to my apartment; not bad for an asthmatic and a girl with a bum foot.

That night, we hit up the West Village because Laleh and MC wanted piercings and Chae flirted with the idea of getting a tattoo. Laleh and MC got their rooks pierced by a lady named Carmen, who spoke with a heavy Spanish accent, wore a midriff top despite having an ample stomach, and she had HUMUNGOUS BOOBS. We all fell in love with her and wished she would have gone out with us. She was also very diplomatic when we told her that the tattoo guy next door seemed kind of douchey. "You have to feel good about it," she said. "It is connection, like doctor. It is not yust something you go do."

We were in a neighborhood that was lined up with tattoo parlors -- much like that block in Chelsea lined up with hair salons -- so Chae went to a place next door where we felt more confident about their service. Girl got to go back to Syracuse with crutches and a tattoo. After that, we hit up a hole inj the wall bar in Midtown that HAD LEINENKUGEL'S, brewed in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, hometown of Whitey, my freshman year roommate! Granted, I didn't order any, because I was feeling burpy and only had one Gas-X on me and beer only makes that problem worse, but I was still very stoked that it was available. It took us forever to get home, and right before our stop a homeless man fell on top of me. I didn't mind too much because a) I was tired/drunk, b) at least he didn't try to mug me, and c) I was excited about getting to read a Color Purple playbill! Everyone in the cast is very religious and Chaka Khan doesn't do matinee performances.

Sunday afternoon arrived, and I took the girls out for some Brooklyn pizza. Laleh and I were excited that the pizza parlor had Slice! "I haven't had orange pop since third grade soccer practice," she reminisced. Leinenkugel's and Slice in one weekend? Someone up there loves me.

The girls left, and in a perfect world I'll not only get a kick-ass job, but one that gives me a weekend off so I can head up to Syracuse this semester for a visit! Laleh is studying abroad for a year and Chae is thinking of transferring, so it's kind of a now or never moment. We shall see.

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