new year

I visited "home" for the holidays (I put home in quotations because I am in that strange transitional phase in life when you are not sure what home is -- is it where you are born and raised, or is it the parent-subsidized location that you currently inhabit? Perhaps it is neither). After a few days with the family, I reunited with an old college friend on the 26th, where I drank enough to make Lindsay Lohan blush. The next morning I was married to the toilet and rediscovering Christianity. This story sounds like it's old hat, but I partied for two years in small-town Wisconsin as a college student and never once puked. I am not a puker. Something was very wrong here, especially when I couldn't keep anything down either and my mother banished me to ice chips.

It turns out that my baby cousin, who I had seen at Christmas, gave us all the stomach flu! It was a 'survival of the fittest thing', because only about half the relatives got it, and since I must have the weakest immune system of all, I was punished the worst. Conversely, my 71-year-old Army vet grandfather felt nothing.

I hate the idea of New Year's Resolutions, because five years ago I was supposed to have a driver's license and a six-pack. Instead I moved to New York City where cars are unnecessary and I still have the body of a ten-year-old. Nevertheless, here are some possible goals:

BE PRODUCTIVE. I don't want to use quanitative measures because those screw us up, but I want to finish a book this year and make sure that my blogs do not outnumber my mike appearances (I am still in Open Mike World). This is not to say that I will have a book published or end up being a MySpace/YouTube superstar, because neither one of those things are in my control -- but the effort is.

GET A REAL JOB. Because my current one hates me and only schedules me twice a week. AndtheboyIlikedwhoworkedtheremovedtoMiami. So there.

BE INVOLVED IN SCHOOL. 'Cause right now I'm just hangin' out, gettin' my feet wet, not sure if it's my 'thing' or not, and I'm too old to be doing that. So it's workworkwork for the next few years, and when I graduate I can always lie about my age.

BE POSITIVE. Because nobody likes that emo kid who hates you, himself, and everything around him.

FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT LOOKING LIKE CHANNING TATUM. Because I am adorable, dammit.

Happy New Year to all.