When I was just diving into adolesence and had a brief stint in heterosexuality, I was going to marry Neve Campbell, after seeing her cheering in the back seat of a convertible as it ran a red light, followed by marvelling at her ability to evade serial killers on multiple occasions, and perhaps most warmly, commit murder, have three-way sex and be the sole survivor of South Florida.. My best friend at the time was in love with Sarah Michelle Gellar, and for our birthdays and half-birthdays we would make each other montages of our fake lovers. The one he made me for my 13th birthday still adorns my old bedroom in Minneapolis.
Neve is now 34, on her second marriage, and allegedly still working. She will always be my first ... something.
As for who she was replaced with, that's later this month, kids.
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