Friday, September 28, 2007
Viral Vendredi
AN ACOUSTIC VERSION OF THE OFFICIAL THEME SONG OF SEASON 2 OF "THE UW"
NOW AVAILABLE ON DVD
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
This Weekend in New York
had a wonderful (albeit dramatic) weekend with Diva! She flew in on Friday to visit Amy, and the plan was for the two of them to do tourist-y stuff that day, and for the three of us to party on Saturday, and I fully planned on being an Asian sandwich and enjoying it.
At about 2 A.M. Friday night/Saturday morning, Diva was texting me saying she was bored at this lounge Amy had taken her to, and that Amy wouldn't leave and was getting more and more drunk (Diva has learned the hard way that her and alcohol are as good of a combo as me and algebra and therefore avoids it). I don't want to get into the extent of their feud because i was not there for it, but I will offer that when I went out with Amy, we had a third person with us, and when Amy did run off somewhere it wasn't as stressful. Regardless, Diva ended up taking a yellow cab from midtown Manhattan to my south central Brooklyn apartment at 4 in the morning.
The next day, we went to Borough Hall for some real Brooklyn pizza, napped, and then went TO THE CLUB! I wasn't sure what club was the best to go to, so I talked to my friend Felix. Felix is a thirtysomething guy who lives in New York City and I met him on a now-defunct online community a few years ago, when I was a teenager -- they don't exist anymore, but back then there were gay chat rooms where people would go to actually talk. He recommended a few clubs that were "girl-friendly" (meaning they're gay bars but girls don't get looked at like they farted in church). My rule of clubbing is as long as the group is three or more, I can go to any kind of club, but when I'm with just Diva, then I prefer a gay or mixed club because otherwise I have to spend the whole night cock-blocking and pretending I'm her boyfriend.
So, Diva and I ventured onto the 2 train in order to find one of the more famous Manhattan clubs, but because I am an idiot, the address was copied down wrong, and we were adrift in New York! We stopped at a McDonald's to eat and pee (not at the same time), and went through a subway underpass. On the way up, we were right outside of a gay bar! Diva and I are both very fate-oriented people, so we were convinced it was a sign of God and that we were meant to be at this bar. These feelings faded when we found out the cover charge was $20! But we still enjoyed ourselves, as I felt very fancy drinking absolut citron on the rocks, Diva got tactfully hit on by a lesbian, and I discussed politics with a shirtless hard-bodied Asian fella. In the truest miracle of the evening, we managed to get home safely and swiftly on the 4 AM subway!
(The boy I discussed politics with texted me this afternoon and at first I was going to serve, but then I realized that I do need clubbing buddies even though my financial situation won't allow me to do that for about a month anyway. Oh, the priorities of my life)
On Sunday, we had lunch at Planet Hollywood and then went to Toys 'R' Us to ride the ferris wheel, which I sadly had been anticipating ever since I found out Diva was going to visit. The Toys 'R' Us ferris wheel is like my thing that everyone that visits me has to go through. Every car is a certain toy or character, and I just know that when my father visits, we are going to end up in either the Barbie car or The Little Pony car, and it will be the best souvie pic ever! It was a busy Sunday afternoon, so Diva and I had to share the Toy Story car with two little girls. I quickly warned them that there was no switching seats and swinging the car. The 7-year-old girl, Sierra, was having her birthday and also, in a small world, celebrated it at the same restaurant we were at; her 11-year-old sister was scared of heights and mad at Sierra for rocking the car. Nevertheless, they were very nice young girls, although they did look at me strangely when I asked them to Facebook me.
Monday morning I had French class, and gave Diva the keys to my apartment after our Luigi's Pizza lunch that I had in between classes. I got home at 1:40, and at 1:50 the cab came to drive her to JFK airport. I walked upstairs and called Erin, and thank God Erin did not answer the phone and I quickly got distracted, because otherwise I would have had my first official New York cry. I was very sad when Diva left; not because I wasn't going to see her ever again or anything, but save for the time Eva stopped by the apartment and we went out for dinner, or the night I had with Amy and Jocelyn, I haven't interacted with anybody in the city, and I don't have any friends here, and I don't say that as a martyr or anything, but it is the reality of the situation. What I am trying to say is that, before Diva's visit, I was seriously fine with that -- but for the past two days I actually had somebody in my apartment, I had a reason to shut the door when I went to the bathroom, I had somebody to look at in the morning, I had somebody to do my belt so I could finally wear it since I have the fine motor skills of a pre-schooler. I suppose that having two days of companionship and then having it so swiftly taken away is a harder blow than not having any companionship at all.
Speaking of companionship, Amy and Diva "broke up", which is sad and selfishly awkward on my behalf (although Diva gave me blessing to pursue a friendship with Amy). I'm not gonna speak a lot about it because it's not my issue, but I will say that Diva is the only person in the world that is more impulsive and stubborn than I am.
Coming up on Adrift in New York:
Two job excursions!
Frankie Pitrellis galore!
And a possible major academic decision!
At about 2 A.M. Friday night/Saturday morning, Diva was texting me saying she was bored at this lounge Amy had taken her to, and that Amy wouldn't leave and was getting more and more drunk (Diva has learned the hard way that her and alcohol are as good of a combo as me and algebra and therefore avoids it). I don't want to get into the extent of their feud because i was not there for it, but I will offer that when I went out with Amy, we had a third person with us, and when Amy did run off somewhere it wasn't as stressful. Regardless, Diva ended up taking a yellow cab from midtown Manhattan to my south central Brooklyn apartment at 4 in the morning.
The next day, we went to Borough Hall for some real Brooklyn pizza, napped, and then went TO THE CLUB! I wasn't sure what club was the best to go to, so I talked to my friend Felix. Felix is a thirtysomething guy who lives in New York City and I met him on a now-defunct online community a few years ago, when I was a teenager -- they don't exist anymore, but back then there were gay chat rooms where people would go to actually talk. He recommended a few clubs that were "girl-friendly" (meaning they're gay bars but girls don't get looked at like they farted in church). My rule of clubbing is as long as the group is three or more, I can go to any kind of club, but when I'm with just Diva, then I prefer a gay or mixed club because otherwise I have to spend the whole night cock-blocking and pretending I'm her boyfriend.
So, Diva and I ventured onto the 2 train in order to find one of the more famous Manhattan clubs, but because I am an idiot, the address was copied down wrong, and we were adrift in New York! We stopped at a McDonald's to eat and pee (not at the same time), and went through a subway underpass. On the way up, we were right outside of a gay bar! Diva and I are both very fate-oriented people, so we were convinced it was a sign of God and that we were meant to be at this bar. These feelings faded when we found out the cover charge was $20! But we still enjoyed ourselves, as I felt very fancy drinking absolut citron on the rocks, Diva got tactfully hit on by a lesbian, and I discussed politics with a shirtless hard-bodied Asian fella. In the truest miracle of the evening, we managed to get home safely and swiftly on the 4 AM subway!
(The boy I discussed politics with texted me this afternoon and at first I was going to serve, but then I realized that I do need clubbing buddies even though my financial situation won't allow me to do that for about a month anyway. Oh, the priorities of my life)
On Sunday, we had lunch at Planet Hollywood and then went to Toys 'R' Us to ride the ferris wheel, which I sadly had been anticipating ever since I found out Diva was going to visit. The Toys 'R' Us ferris wheel is like my thing that everyone that visits me has to go through. Every car is a certain toy or character, and I just know that when my father visits, we are going to end up in either the Barbie car or The Little Pony car, and it will be the best souvie pic ever! It was a busy Sunday afternoon, so Diva and I had to share the Toy Story car with two little girls. I quickly warned them that there was no switching seats and swinging the car. The 7-year-old girl, Sierra, was having her birthday and also, in a small world, celebrated it at the same restaurant we were at; her 11-year-old sister was scared of heights and mad at Sierra for rocking the car. Nevertheless, they were very nice young girls, although they did look at me strangely when I asked them to Facebook me.
Monday morning I had French class, and gave Diva the keys to my apartment after our Luigi's Pizza lunch that I had in between classes. I got home at 1:40, and at 1:50 the cab came to drive her to JFK airport. I walked upstairs and called Erin, and thank God Erin did not answer the phone and I quickly got distracted, because otherwise I would have had my first official New York cry. I was very sad when Diva left; not because I wasn't going to see her ever again or anything, but save for the time Eva stopped by the apartment and we went out for dinner, or the night I had with Amy and Jocelyn, I haven't interacted with anybody in the city, and I don't have any friends here, and I don't say that as a martyr or anything, but it is the reality of the situation. What I am trying to say is that, before Diva's visit, I was seriously fine with that -- but for the past two days I actually had somebody in my apartment, I had a reason to shut the door when I went to the bathroom, I had somebody to look at in the morning, I had somebody to do my belt so I could finally wear it since I have the fine motor skills of a pre-schooler. I suppose that having two days of companionship and then having it so swiftly taken away is a harder blow than not having any companionship at all.
Speaking of companionship, Amy and Diva "broke up", which is sad and selfishly awkward on my behalf (although Diva gave me blessing to pursue a friendship with Amy). I'm not gonna speak a lot about it because it's not my issue, but I will say that Diva is the only person in the world that is more impulsive and stubborn than I am.
Coming up on Adrift in New York:
Two job excursions!
Frankie Pitrellis galore!
And a possible major academic decision!
Friday, September 21, 2007
Viral Vendredi
D'LO BROWN with mark henry vs. JEFF JARRETT with owen hart & debra
And a WWE superstar makes their debut ...
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Today in New York
Today in New York ...
...I was actually on time for French class! This is because I thought there was a test today, but it turns out the test has been moved to Monday. Sweet life. Karma bit me in the ass because the whole time I was silently laughing at everyone for being stupid, and then when it was my turn to read out loud the answer, "Ils parlent le francais", it turns out I didn't read the sentence balloons carefully enough and the correct answer was actually "Ils parlent l'espagnol", and then all of the native Spanish speakers got mad at me.
...Then I had English class, where we got our papers back, and I haven't read my comments yet because I am worried and I will wait until I get drunk. Class was boring today and the only thing I noticed is that the teacher's eyes match his greying temples.
...Then I did laundry for my two-hour break, and rocked out on my iPod to '90s pop music. "Lost in an image/in a dream/but there's no one there to wake her up." Oh, Britney.
...Then I had acting class, and the teacher wrote nice comments on my journal and said I need to have confidence, and then I got assigned my acting partner, and his name is either Brendan or Brandon, I forget, but we are doing that play that's the new version of Charlie Brown when they're all grown up and gone bad, and all I remember is that Eliza Dushku originated the Lucy role Off-Broadway.
...Then I went to Supercuts and got an AWFUL, AWFUL HAIRCUT. I hate it! But on Monday, when I went to Chelsea to get my haircut, I went home having a panic attack because there were too many salons, and maybe a really shitty chain brand haircut was what I needed to give me the courage to go to a real salon next time. Still. I look like a cueball, and he didn't even fix the neck hair so it's still almost mullety in ways, and Diva is coming this weekend and I am going to have to wear a baseball cap to the club.
...I had to take the very crowded downtown-bound trains home, and an attractive young businessman had to rush against me on the way out and I felt bad. But someone works out! And that is the only action I have got this month.
...Then I went to the liquor store where they no longer ask for my ID, and I brought a brand of vodka recommended by the store owner, and his 10-year-old son told me my card was denied. Only in New York. (And I since used a different card, so there are no worries)
...I am using the magic white card right now, but it will run out soon. If I don't have a job by next week, I ... I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I will drop out of school and become a flight attendant.
...I was actually on time for French class! This is because I thought there was a test today, but it turns out the test has been moved to Monday. Sweet life. Karma bit me in the ass because the whole time I was silently laughing at everyone for being stupid, and then when it was my turn to read out loud the answer, "Ils parlent le francais", it turns out I didn't read the sentence balloons carefully enough and the correct answer was actually "Ils parlent l'espagnol", and then all of the native Spanish speakers got mad at me.
...Then I had English class, where we got our papers back, and I haven't read my comments yet because I am worried and I will wait until I get drunk. Class was boring today and the only thing I noticed is that the teacher's eyes match his greying temples.
...Then I did laundry for my two-hour break, and rocked out on my iPod to '90s pop music. "Lost in an image/in a dream/but there's no one there to wake her up." Oh, Britney.
...Then I had acting class, and the teacher wrote nice comments on my journal and said I need to have confidence, and then I got assigned my acting partner, and his name is either Brendan or Brandon, I forget, but we are doing that play that's the new version of Charlie Brown when they're all grown up and gone bad, and all I remember is that Eliza Dushku originated the Lucy role Off-Broadway.
...Then I went to Supercuts and got an AWFUL, AWFUL HAIRCUT. I hate it! But on Monday, when I went to Chelsea to get my haircut, I went home having a panic attack because there were too many salons, and maybe a really shitty chain brand haircut was what I needed to give me the courage to go to a real salon next time. Still. I look like a cueball, and he didn't even fix the neck hair so it's still almost mullety in ways, and Diva is coming this weekend and I am going to have to wear a baseball cap to the club.
...I had to take the very crowded downtown-bound trains home, and an attractive young businessman had to rush against me on the way out and I felt bad. But someone works out! And that is the only action I have got this month.
...Then I went to the liquor store where they no longer ask for my ID, and I brought a brand of vodka recommended by the store owner, and his 10-year-old son told me my card was denied. Only in New York. (And I since used a different card, so there are no worries)
...I am using the magic white card right now, but it will run out soon. If I don't have a job by next week, I ... I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I will drop out of school and become a flight attendant.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Apocalypse
Chris Crocker just signed a developmental deal, thereby ending any of my show business dreams before they started.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Well Forget all That
Yeah, forget all that fun stuff about confidence and everything, because I just had a panic attack about hair salons and left Chelsea with my awful long hair still intact. There were just too many hair salons. It was too much. I was overwhelmed. Tomorrow I will go to a SuperCuts somewhere.
Nothing Is Forever
A year ago today, an event occurred that forever changed my outlook on life. Months later, in Interpersonal Effectiveness class with Dr. Don, we all had to share a memorable experience in our lives, and amidst all of the tales of major sports victories and life-altering traumas, I shared this:
Because on September 17, 2006, Trish Stratus retired from professional wrestling. After the pay-per-view I sat outside under the clock tower, in the rain, with Mary J. Blige's "Be Without You" playing over and over on my iPod, and I bawled my eyes out. I wasn't crying just because Trish Stratus would no longer be on TV every Monday, or that the WWE Women's Division would never fully recover. No, I was crying for what the moment represented. It was that moment that made me realize that nothing lasts forever, and that our lives come in chapters. While in the back of my head I always knew I wasn't going to stay at Stout in my UW world forever, this event brought that concept out into the forefront and smacked me in the brain with it.
A year later, Trish Stratus is married, working on a comedy show on Canadian television, and preparing for a charity-based triathlon. The belt she historically held seven times is now held by Candice Michelle, a former fitness model who, like Stratus before her, was once underestimated and seen only as eye candy.
Meanwhile, UW-Stout may still have a self-professed diva whose flamboyance and sexuality does not define him as he transgresses various social structures, but that boy is no longer me, as I sit not in a Menomonie dorm room but in a messy apartment in Brooklyn, one that is funded by my mother because I am still unemployed. I am not doing well at my new school, emotionally and academically -- but I'm here, dammit, and with a little inspiration, I will get on my feet. I used to always say "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life", but in actuality, it's today. So from now on, I am going to wake up early so I make all my classes, I am going to study, I am going to job-hunt like job-hunting is my job, and at this moment, I am off to Manhattan to find a hair salon for white boys with limited incomes.
Because on September 17, 2006, Trish Stratus retired from professional wrestling. After the pay-per-view I sat outside under the clock tower, in the rain, with Mary J. Blige's "Be Without You" playing over and over on my iPod, and I bawled my eyes out. I wasn't crying just because Trish Stratus would no longer be on TV every Monday, or that the WWE Women's Division would never fully recover. No, I was crying for what the moment represented. It was that moment that made me realize that nothing lasts forever, and that our lives come in chapters. While in the back of my head I always knew I wasn't going to stay at Stout in my UW world forever, this event brought that concept out into the forefront and smacked me in the brain with it.
A year later, Trish Stratus is married, working on a comedy show on Canadian television, and preparing for a charity-based triathlon. The belt she historically held seven times is now held by Candice Michelle, a former fitness model who, like Stratus before her, was once underestimated and seen only as eye candy.
Meanwhile, UW-Stout may still have a self-professed diva whose flamboyance and sexuality does not define him as he transgresses various social structures, but that boy is no longer me, as I sit not in a Menomonie dorm room but in a messy apartment in Brooklyn, one that is funded by my mother because I am still unemployed. I am not doing well at my new school, emotionally and academically -- but I'm here, dammit, and with a little inspiration, I will get on my feet. I used to always say "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life", but in actuality, it's today. So from now on, I am going to wake up early so I make all my classes, I am going to study, I am going to job-hunt like job-hunting is my job, and at this moment, I am off to Manhattan to find a hair salon for white boys with limited incomes.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Get that Money, Money, Yeah, Yeah
At the end of the month I WILL have a job, dammit, because I need to buy:
*DVD's of all the shows that I'm a bitch for
*Full body laser hair removal
*Ab Roller
*Airfare to Minneapolis in December (Christmas) and April (my return to The UW)
And maybe a ficus.
*DVD's of all the shows that I'm a bitch for
*Full body laser hair removal
*Ab Roller
*Airfare to Minneapolis in December (Christmas) and April (my return to The UW)
And maybe a ficus.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Viral Vendredi
COFFEE TALK WITH LINDA RICHMAN
WITH SPECIAL GUESTS MADONNA AND ROSEANNE
AND A SPECIAL CAMEO AT THE END ...
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Only in New York...
... Do you see a Christian bookstore next to a sex shop (this is in Manhattan somewhere and it was by the cybercafe I used to have to frequent).
Happy Rosh Hashanah. All I know is that it's a Jewish New Year thing and I get three days off of school for it, which is very exciting for a Midwestern Gentile.
Diva is visiting in a week, which means this job hunt better yield some results ...
Happy Rosh Hashanah. All I know is that it's a Jewish New Year thing and I get three days off of school for it, which is very exciting for a Midwestern Gentile.
Diva is visiting in a week, which means this job hunt better yield some results ...
Friday, September 7, 2007
Viral Vendredi
So every Friday we're gonna do a little YouTube action, okay?
VIRAL VENDREDI #1
EDDIE GUERRERO vs. CHYNA
KING OF THE RING 2nd ROUND TOURNAMENT
JUNE 2000
VIRAL VENDREDI #1
EDDIE GUERRERO vs. CHYNA
KING OF THE RING 2nd ROUND TOURNAMENT
JUNE 2000
Thursday, September 6, 2007
My First Celebrity
When a Midwestern transplant relocates to an entertainment-based city such as Los Angeles or New York (and maybe even Las Vegas), they can't help but ask people a very annoying question:
"Who was your first celebrity?"
Two weeks into my stay in Brooklyn, I got my first official visit from my high school friend Eva, who was visiting a college friend of hers that was finishing up an internship at the Today show. She was a very lovely girl and answered my question without judgment. Her answer:
Vanna White, who she saw in Central Park in one of her first weeks in the city (apparently Vanna was shooting an ad for Wheel of Fortune, which is sadly one of my favorite shows). "Great," I thought to myself. "I'll never have a first celebrity sighting like Vanna White."
Last week, I was in Manhattan coming home from the cybercafe, since Dell was ruining my life. I used a cafe on 49th Street, right off of Times Square and next to the theater that does Spring Awakening. I was in a pissy mood because of extenuating circumstances in my life, and I have theorized that Times Square, where everything is grandiose, magnifies your mood no matter what it is. If you are in a positive mood, then Times Square makes you realize that you're in this great city where there is so much culture and possibility. If you are in a negative mood, Times Square makes you wonder why people have to walk so god damn slow, and why can't they have "tourist hours" so you don't have to be behind people that pace like snails, and NO I DON'T WANT TO GO ON A BUS TOUR, and NO I DON'T WANT TO GO TO A LIVE COMEDY SHOW.
I am short, so I often look up and make eye contact with taller strangers. I don't do it to scare them, it just happens that way. Lo and behold, I am in Times Square at 9;30 PM on a Saturday, and out of the corner of my eye I make contact with his steely blue eyes and his protruding upper lip, and it's a very quick look, a look that may have said "Please don't recognize me", or "Christ you're a shrimp" or "Why am I in Times Square" or "You're really too old to enjoy my movies the way you do", but whatever the look was, it was a LOOK, and my first New York Celebrity was
who, interestingly enough, before moving to New York ever crossed I mind, I dreamed about him and New York -- no, no, it wasn't that kind of dream, I was shooting a movie in New York and he had a cameo or something (I never have naughty dreams about celebrities, but often strangely familiar ones, such as the time my brother, Brad Pitt and myself dined at TGI Friday's).
And there is my story.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
So my computer finally arrived today, and I'm still figuring out why I have this blog, as opposed to my more personal,"today I did laundry" blog. I've decided this blog is for people who don't really know me, and isn't meant to be very intimate or deep, but yet I should still introduce myself somehow.
In my Intro to Acting class, we had to make 30-second commercials about ourselves, and I decided to sell myself as being Inconsistent. I am inconsistent because:
*My DVD collection contains Step Up, She's The Man ... and WrestleMania 23.
*I'm pretty far left-wing, yet one of my favorite shows is The O'Reilly Factor, and one of my favorite guests is Michelle Malkin.
*I'm a buck twenty soaking wet but I will drink you under the table and then some.
In my Intro to Acting class, we had to make 30-second commercials about ourselves, and I decided to sell myself as being Inconsistent. I am inconsistent because:
*My DVD collection contains Step Up, She's The Man ... and WrestleMania 23.
*I'm pretty far left-wing, yet one of my favorite shows is The O'Reilly Factor, and one of my favorite guests is Michelle Malkin.
*I'm a buck twenty soaking wet but I will drink you under the table and then some.
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