This week in New York, my MOTHER visited! The entire weekend was quite miraculous as my apartment is now clean and I can actually see the carpet, and we only got in about four different fights, which for us is very good (yes, I have Mommy issues, but I can also admit they're stupid and not worth two segments on Dr. Phil).
On Friday we ventured into the city because I had a job interview. At the risk of being dramatic, this job is kind of my last hope -- I'm for sure leaving the penthouse on July 31st and 90% says Minneapolis while 10% says I miraculously get a decent job and an affordable apartment in that time frame. Yowza. They seemed to like me and said they would call me later to schedule a training session. I don't want to give away too many details because I'm worried about jinxing it, but I will say that it's a restaurant job with a hiring process so complicated you would think I am trying to become a member of the NYPD.
Saturday we saw In the Heights, recently nominated for 13 Tony awards. If you are in New York, see this show. If you are not in New York, buy the soundtrack. It is funny and inspirational and sad and it will make you wish you were fluent in Spanish. I really enjoyed it. My mother cried through the entire thing, much like the time we went to the Martina McBride concert at the Minnesota State Fair.
Sunday we did nothing because I was tuckered out and wanted to stay in bed, so my mother enjoyed my neighborhood's laundromat and grocery store and found it amusing when a Caribbean man called her "Mami". That night we watched the Desperate Housewives finale, which was certainly a WTF.
Monday we went to go see Ground Zero but kind of got lost, as it's in a section of Manhattan that neither one of us has been to before. "I saw where it was," she said. "That's all I really needed to know." We then took the 6 (like J Lo!) up one stop to Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall and walked from the bridge to Brooklyn, where we had great sandwiches at Celeste's Diner -- and on the bridge, we saw a bride and groom walk past us, in full-on wedding garb. One of those "only in New York" moments.
My mother left this morning, and I finally was on the phone with my best friend Erin! Erin and I are very much like Oprah and Gayle in that we talk on the phone all the damn time, and Erin has been studying abroad in France for the past five months. I made her a CD for her birthday but then forgot I didn't have any blank CD's in the house, so now I have to mail it to her. Then I had my first "training day" at the restaurant. I feel it went well, but they said they were trying out other people and if they want me back, they'll call me in a couple days. Getting a job in New York is worse than dating.
I also was sort of cheap last week and had a boy over (yes, I'm 21 but I still say "boys". Someday I will use "man" when I feel I am mature enough about it). I felt kind of bad about it, but then he re-organized my DVD shelf and I was like, "Oh, THAT'S why people do this." Maybe next month I will have another hook-up and get my light bulbs changed.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
turtle power
back when i actually went to class
i had a wonderful professor named dr don
he said we are all different animals when we come to conflict
owl turtle fox teddy bear or shark
my brother is a shark (aggressive)
my mother is a fox (passive-aggressive, manipulative)
erin is a teddy bear (passive, gives in to everyting)
i am a turtle (passive, avoids everything)
i cannot be a turtle anymore
i have a month to figure out the next year of my life
that is scary
the writing is on the wall
but yet i have to keep hope
because otherwise i am back where i started in sophomore year of stout
when i wore the smile like make-up
yet was dashboard confessional by day
in other news
someone said it
i don't care who said it
someone still said it
and i wouldn't be so pissed off if i didn't think it was true
i wish you well
i wish you well
i wish you well
(mariah carey, e=mc2, no, it's not mimi but nothing ever could be, BUY IT)
sobriety feels odd
but i think i could get used to it
i had a wonderful professor named dr don
he said we are all different animals when we come to conflict
owl turtle fox teddy bear or shark
my brother is a shark (aggressive)
my mother is a fox (passive-aggressive, manipulative)
erin is a teddy bear (passive, gives in to everyting)
i am a turtle (passive, avoids everything)
i cannot be a turtle anymore
i have a month to figure out the next year of my life
that is scary
the writing is on the wall
but yet i have to keep hope
because otherwise i am back where i started in sophomore year of stout
when i wore the smile like make-up
yet was dashboard confessional by day
in other news
someone said it
i don't care who said it
someone still said it
and i wouldn't be so pissed off if i didn't think it was true
i wish you well
i wish you well
i wish you well
(mariah carey, e=mc2, no, it's not mimi but nothing ever could be, BUY IT)
sobriety feels odd
but i think i could get used to it
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Today in New York
After a week of being sick and then two days of not getting out of bed (I sleep all the time because my REM cycles run like a high-speed ferris wheel ... I have about five dreams per night), I finally ventured to Manhattan today to get me a damn job! I also wanted to go get my haircut by the Sexy Bosnians, but I didn't get there in time, so now I have to go there tomorrow when my mother is in town!
I chose to take the N train into the city instead of the R train, because I realized I would be late for the barber shop anyway, and the N train goes above a bridge while the R doesn't. I think that's why people on the R always look so sad. They ride the Subway of Seasonal Depression.
I dropped off an application to be a host at a diner, and they made me take a test! WTF? "List five examples of good service." "List ten examples of good service." This is HARD, I thought to myself, but I think I did okay, except for Question #5, "What is in an egg cream?", which I simply answered with "Bananas".
Then I got home in time to watch Jeopardy! This week is Week Two of the College Championship, and I am waaaayyyy to into it this year, to the point of pure embarrassment. It's been a hoot on TelevisionWithoutPity.com because one of the finalists has been posting. Tomorrow she competes against a very annoying person who she assures us is actually nice in real life, and a boy from Mississippi State who I am way too embarrassed to have a crush on. WHO WATCHES GAME SHOWS AND GETS CRUSHES ON THE CONTESTANTS?? Like, really. Not to mention that while on the stalled 2 train I was already sounding like an 85-year-old, griping that I was going to miss Jeopardy.
My mother is visiting tomorrow, so I am either going to clean. Or drink.
I chose to take the N train into the city instead of the R train, because I realized I would be late for the barber shop anyway, and the N train goes above a bridge while the R doesn't. I think that's why people on the R always look so sad. They ride the Subway of Seasonal Depression.
I dropped off an application to be a host at a diner, and they made me take a test! WTF? "List five examples of good service." "List ten examples of good service." This is HARD, I thought to myself, but I think I did okay, except for Question #5, "What is in an egg cream?", which I simply answered with "Bananas".
Then I got home in time to watch Jeopardy! This week is Week Two of the College Championship, and I am waaaayyyy to into it this year, to the point of pure embarrassment. It's been a hoot on TelevisionWithoutPity.com because one of the finalists has been posting. Tomorrow she competes against a very annoying person who she assures us is actually nice in real life, and a boy from Mississippi State who I am way too embarrassed to have a crush on. WHO WATCHES GAME SHOWS AND GETS CRUSHES ON THE CONTESTANTS?? Like, really. Not to mention that while on the stalled 2 train I was already sounding like an 85-year-old, griping that I was going to miss Jeopardy.
My mother is visiting tomorrow, so I am either going to clean. Or drink.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Are You There, God? It's Me, Jakey
My grandma died in October. She had 13 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. I was the only one of them who was not at her funeral, because I was in New York wasting my life.
I didn't cry when she died. She had been suffering from a brain tumor for over a year, and my mother and aunt were functioning as her caregivers. Still, I always assumed I would see her again, and did not know that our July trip to her care center, where we had a barbecue and I was too lazy to climb over the table and hug her, would be the last time I would see her.
I sent an e-mail to be read aloud at her funeral, speaking of how she would always take Dane and me to movies we weren't allowed to see and would give us Pepsi whenever she wanted. Then I never thought about her. Consumed in my own drama, I put my thoughts about her away, knowing I would deal with them again someday.
It is Mother's Day. At 2 in the morning, I was on the toilet having my usual bout of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It is perhaps wrong to have spiritual experiences on the toilet, but that is where I usually have them, because I am alone with my thoughts or listening to Delilah.
I folded my hands and talked to God. I started sobbing and I said I was sorry for doing this on the toilet, but hopefully He didn't care about stuff about that. I asked him to put Grandma on the line. I don't know what she was doing, but God went to go get her. I wonder what time zone she is in.
And I finally talked to her. I told her I was sorry that I wasn't at her funeral, that I didn't call enough, that I didn't get my driver's license and drive up to see her. She told me it was okay. She asked me how New York was. I told her I was sorry she could never go see it. I told her I was screwing everything up, and she told me that I could still do it, and she always knew she would see my name in lights. I said I was sorry for talking to her while I was on the toilet. I asked her if she ever plays Scrabble in heaven.
Then I knew I would be okay.
I didn't cry when she died. She had been suffering from a brain tumor for over a year, and my mother and aunt were functioning as her caregivers. Still, I always assumed I would see her again, and did not know that our July trip to her care center, where we had a barbecue and I was too lazy to climb over the table and hug her, would be the last time I would see her.
I sent an e-mail to be read aloud at her funeral, speaking of how she would always take Dane and me to movies we weren't allowed to see and would give us Pepsi whenever she wanted. Then I never thought about her. Consumed in my own drama, I put my thoughts about her away, knowing I would deal with them again someday.
It is Mother's Day. At 2 in the morning, I was on the toilet having my usual bout of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. It is perhaps wrong to have spiritual experiences on the toilet, but that is where I usually have them, because I am alone with my thoughts or listening to Delilah.
I folded my hands and talked to God. I started sobbing and I said I was sorry for doing this on the toilet, but hopefully He didn't care about stuff about that. I asked him to put Grandma on the line. I don't know what she was doing, but God went to go get her. I wonder what time zone she is in.
And I finally talked to her. I told her I was sorry that I wasn't at her funeral, that I didn't call enough, that I didn't get my driver's license and drive up to see her. She told me it was okay. She asked me how New York was. I told her I was sorry she could never go see it. I told her I was screwing everything up, and she told me that I could still do it, and she always knew she would see my name in lights. I said I was sorry for talking to her while I was on the toilet. I asked her if she ever plays Scrabble in heaven.
Then I knew I would be okay.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Viral Vendredi: Trish vs. Stephanie
In honor of her surprise appearance on Raw Monday night ...
Trish Stratus reflects on her legendary feud with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley in 2001
Trish Stratus reflects on her legendary feud with Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley in 2001
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Quick Thoughts
I have a lot of thoughts on a lot of things that I don't feel like writing entire entries about, because, really, who would read them? So I will just do a quick play-by-play of what I feel about the world right now. Yes, I stole this from today's episode of Oprah. Don't judge. Also, this is only my opinion, and my opinion is by no means more important than anybody else's. I am doing this out of boredom, and because I typed this while at the laundromat.
The Mariah Wedding:
I admit that I have blind love for Mariah. She could announce plans to do a sequel to Glitter and I would be on board, begging for the part of the hair stylist with a heart of gold. My admittedly odd opinion about Nick Cannon I can save for another rant. I will say that while I wish nothing but rainbows for Mariah, if she did not sign a pre-nup she has been sniffing too much M perfume.
American Idol
Davids finale, with Big David winning. Little David is talented as hell but does the same thing every week. I will take this all back if next week he covers Motley Crue or something.
Election '08
Seriously, if I hear one more person assume that people are only pro-Hilary because she is white and they are racist, or are only pro-Barack because he is black and young in the world of politics, I will blow a gasket. And I don't even really know what a gasket is, and how one blows it, so maybe I should be more cautious about word choice. I am all for a unified dream ticket, because otherwise McCain is going to win like Bush in '04 and we will be in Iraq until the sun explodes.
Barbara Walters
Is a living legend and can say whatever the hell she wants at this point.
Huge Pothole in Brooklyn
Did you hear about this?? There was a pothole in Bay Ridge so big that an SUV almost sank in it (but thankfully, only lost a tire). No wonder I take the subway.
These Dreams
I think the reason that I sleep so much is because my dreams are too vivid. Last night I was with my mother and Aunt Jennifer and we were in Menomonie but staying in this really cute motel, and my room was a single but it had two beds and its own bathroom and I decided that I wanted to LIVE THERE FOREVER. Forget my foolish pipe dreams. Then I ran over Channing Tatum and Ryan Phillippe's feet with a scooter. I don't get it, either.
The Mariah Wedding:
I admit that I have blind love for Mariah. She could announce plans to do a sequel to Glitter and I would be on board, begging for the part of the hair stylist with a heart of gold. My admittedly odd opinion about Nick Cannon I can save for another rant. I will say that while I wish nothing but rainbows for Mariah, if she did not sign a pre-nup she has been sniffing too much M perfume.
American Idol
Davids finale, with Big David winning. Little David is talented as hell but does the same thing every week. I will take this all back if next week he covers Motley Crue or something.
Election '08
Seriously, if I hear one more person assume that people are only pro-Hilary because she is white and they are racist, or are only pro-Barack because he is black and young in the world of politics, I will blow a gasket. And I don't even really know what a gasket is, and how one blows it, so maybe I should be more cautious about word choice. I am all for a unified dream ticket, because otherwise McCain is going to win like Bush in '04 and we will be in Iraq until the sun explodes.
Barbara Walters
Is a living legend and can say whatever the hell she wants at this point.
Huge Pothole in Brooklyn
Did you hear about this?? There was a pothole in Bay Ridge so big that an SUV almost sank in it (but thankfully, only lost a tire). No wonder I take the subway.
These Dreams
I think the reason that I sleep so much is because my dreams are too vivid. Last night I was with my mother and Aunt Jennifer and we were in Menomonie but staying in this really cute motel, and my room was a single but it had two beds and its own bathroom and I decided that I wanted to LIVE THERE FOREVER. Forget my foolish pipe dreams. Then I ran over Channing Tatum and Ryan Phillippe's feet with a scooter. I don't get it, either.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
if you are what you say you are
you are in charge of your own destiny
the only person that can change your life is yourself
if you hate the person you are being
STOP BEING THAT PERSON
wow
on paper this is so easy
ok so maybe this is the plan
work full-time for a year
land on my feet
then do what i wanna do
tomorrow is may 7th
already
may 7th
i am going to have to move in a month
i have nowhere to go
i am stuck
i am molasses
i am jan brady
i dont know why i said i am jan brady
but it was in my head
i am so angry right now
why did erin have to go to france
this is why i am going insane
because i do not have someone to talk to for three hours a day
i turned into someone i did not enjoy
if my life were for rent i would not want to buy it
i love that song
i wonder if it is on my itunes
bitch bitch bitch
i have been a broken record
since september
what the fuck
shut the fuck up
i am so sick of this
i am so over this
i should join a convent
i have no one
there is nothing
it is all me
i have to find the strength
no one can give me it
nobody can make things happen but me
we are responsible in the end
the only person that can change your life is yourself
if you hate the person you are being
STOP BEING THAT PERSON
wow
on paper this is so easy
ok so maybe this is the plan
work full-time for a year
land on my feet
then do what i wanna do
tomorrow is may 7th
already
may 7th
i am going to have to move in a month
i have nowhere to go
i am stuck
i am molasses
i am jan brady
i dont know why i said i am jan brady
but it was in my head
i am so angry right now
why did erin have to go to france
this is why i am going insane
because i do not have someone to talk to for three hours a day
i turned into someone i did not enjoy
if my life were for rent i would not want to buy it
i love that song
i wonder if it is on my itunes
bitch bitch bitch
i have been a broken record
since september
what the fuck
shut the fuck up
i am so sick of this
i am so over this
i should join a convent
i have no one
there is nothing
it is all me
i have to find the strength
no one can give me it
nobody can make things happen but me
we are responsible in the end
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