Saturday, January 3, 2009

2008 Supporting Actress Blogathon




The following is an entry of Stinky Lulu's 3rd Annual Supporting Actress Blogathon. For a great variety of other entries, please visit stinkylulu.com

Before this post begins, I feel that I must defend my choice this year by saying that, while I am a pop culture/cinema aficionado, I can literally count on one hand the five 2008 releases I saw this year. Stop Loss was riveting, and not just because of my imaginary engagement to Channing Tatum; Sex and the City was a fitting 140-minute episode of the show; Pineapple Express was an enjoyable comedy/action hybrid; and The Dark Knight was a surprisingly cynical epic that I hope doesn't get overlooked in the Best Picture Race. However, not one of these films featured a Supporting Actress performance that caused me leaving to leave the theater with it still brewing in my mind, and the one that did was the very surprising and unlikely:





MARY STEENBURGEN in STEPBROTHERS

Like nearly all of Will Ferrell's films, Stepbrothers is a one-joke premise stretched thinly over 90 minutes. In this particular film, the simple plot features Ferrell's Brennan Huff competing with fellow 40-year-old homebody Dale Doback (John C. Reilly) when their parents quickly fall in love and get married (it is to the film's credit that the plot point of the marriage plays over literally the first few minutes). The entire film's running gag: Dale and Brennan are adults but act like 12-year-old boys. Dale's father, Robert, is a gruff medical doctor, while Brennan's mother is the vivacious and sweet-hearted Nancy Huff, who is so breathtaking that when Robert first sees her, in the audience while conducting a seminar, he commits a vulgar Freudian slip.

During her first scenes, it is Steenburgen's beauty that draws us to her character. A beautiful woman who has allowed herself to age gracefully (she looks preserved but not Botoxed to hell), it's not difficult for the audience to see why a wealthy older man would fall in love with her in a crowded room. However, the implausibility that the 55-year-old Steenburgen is playing a mother to a 39-year-old will just have to be overlooked.




But as the story unfolds, and Brennan and Dale find themselves united against Brennan's successful and snide younger brother Derek (Adam Scott in a memorable performance), Steenburgen's Nancy becomes the conscience of the film. During the scene later in the film when Nancy and Robert inform "the boys" that the house is being sold, Steenburgen's Nancy remains firm in her "bad cop" role, yet avoids eye contact and at one point even shuts her eyes for a prolonged period. Steenburgen aptly plays up the conflict of Nancy in this scene; she doesn't love her son more than she loves her husband, but she understands that the apron strings can't be tied forever.

And during the scenes where Nancy is surrounded by both her son, Steenburgen does a masterful job of never letting us think she loves one more than the other. She gives her sons both looks of admiration, even though one is financially ten times worth the other. The movie is full of scenes of frenetic chaos, but other than a brief expletive when hosing down the boys as they fight in the front yard, Nancy always remains glued together, even when her and Robert finally announce their divorce at Christmas (and since it's a Will Ferrell comedy, it involves loud sobbing and vomit).

Steenburgen also provides one of the film's biggest laughs, during an early scene when Nancy explains to Robert the animosity between her sons. While printed words won't do justice to the flashback she narrates, it ends with Robert telling her that "Ice, Ice, Baby" really is a great song. "It is," Nancy emphatically agrees as the film quickly smash cuts to another scene. Steenburgen's character is the back drop for most of the movie, but the scene is an example of how she makes the most of her dialogue.

Stepbrothers is not a great film by any stretch of the imagination; at face value, it's a fast-paced and wacky comedy. And while Ferrell and co-writer and director Adam McKay are, as they did in Anchorman, wise to divvy up hilarious supporting roles (Scott and Jenkins are especially good, and Kathryn Hahn, as Derek's wife with a nymphomaniacal crush on Dale, is gleefully over-the-top), Steenburgen's restrained and believable performance is the real gem here. She's a sexy, older woman -- but not one played up as a "cougar" or sexpot -- with a conflicted love for both her sons, one an egomaniacal alpha male and the other a childish screw-up. And by making her character's love for her son so evident (a knowing grin here, a frustrated stare there), Steenburgen leads the audience to love the immaturity of Brennan -- truly an amazing feat.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Today's Bitching

I let strangers use my cell phone way too much because I am a doormat and obsessed with having bad karma. Anyway, tonight on the light rail this kid who can't be older than 12 asks if he can use my cell phone, and I figure he has to call his mom or something because it's 11 P.M. and what the hell is a kid that age doing on the train this late, anyway?

Ummm, no, this little fucker calls San Diego and northern Minnesota just to shoot the shit with his friends. I have free long distance, but I was still pissed off that somebody took advantage of my liberal white guilt. Also, there was a really cute guy on the train but I did not look very sexy because I was stuffing my face with cashews and getting crumbs all over my coat.

Oh, and at work MY LEAST FAVORITE CUSTOMER CAME IN AGAIN. His name is Ron and he thinks he can get discounts just for being Ron. "Can you make this an extra 30% off?" he will ask. "No," I will smile, and he will in all seriousness ask "Can someone else?" FUCK YOU RON. THIS IS AMERICA. WE DO NOT BARTER HERE.

Also, I spilled the box of safety pins while putting shirts away and pricked myself eight thousand times. Also, sexy sexy boys came in. I should delete that sentence because I am not thirteen anymore.

Happy New Year Kids.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Today At Work a Lady Called Me an Idiot

I was putting scarves away at the same time she was looking at scarves, and the convo went like this:

Me: "Are you finding stuff okay?"
Lady: "I was until you knocked a scarf into my face. IDIOT."

I mean, I've certainly been called worse; I honestly don't think I've been called an idiot since grade school. I mean, who says that?? And for fuck's sake, on Christmas Eve Eve of all days! I don't want to dwell on it but I hope she cooks a bad Christmas dinner and everyone in her family gets food poisoning.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Survey for y'all

1. Name:
2. Birthday:
3. Place of residence:
4. What makes you happy:
5. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
6. Do you read my blog?:
7. If you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/do you have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:


Recommend:

1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song and an album:


Plus:

1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your blog so I can tell you what I think of you.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

In Which I Begin to Forgive Myself

OK, so I'm just going to ramble in here because I don't write enough in here and I think writing is good for you, except for yesterday on the light rail when I had a notebook with me and I was writing my thoughts and I ended up writing "MY LIFE IS A WASTE" in giant letters.

I've made a lot of stupid choices in my life and I have to learn to move on so that I can make good choices in the future, but I also have to fotgive myself for making such stupid choices. If I am to believe that I was depressed for two years (which I was), then that is to believe that I was mentally ill. And I'm not saying that as an excuse to end all excuses -- after all, I could not commit murder or a bank and be released on my own recognizance upon telling police that I'm depressed -- but I am saying that to pat myself on the back a little bit. I wasn't Jakey ***** when I was in New York. I had been depressed for nearly a year by the time I was there, and then upon arrival I was like, "OKAY, CITY OF 8 MILLION! OKAY, COMMUTER CAMPUS WHERE I KNOW ABSOLUTELY NO ONE! WELCOME ME WITH OPEN ARMS! FIX ME!"

It didn't work that way. See, when I was a freshman at Stout, I was scared shitless, too -- but I was also naive, confident, and I put myself out there. I won the ThinkFast Trivia Challenge. I was in a sexually charged, provocative play. I floated around, and while I gradually did find my own posse (Season One of The UW to my most loyal readers), I still made sure to find friends and acquaintances from various groups.

I know if that Jakey had been in Brooklyn College, he could have made it. He would have tried out for the acting program in April, and either enrolled in that major if he made it or found another one to embrace. He would have finally been able to study something he had great passion for, and he would have excelled. Again, I'm not saying this to justify the fact that I had a great opportunity and completely blew it, nor to excuse the fact that I completely wasted $16,000 of my mother's precious pre-recession money; but I'm saying this to let myself down easy. I wasn't there. I wasn't myself. I had been broken, almost sleeping, for a very long time.

Of course, this does nothing to change where I am now: 22, living with my parents, working a 40-hour-a-week retail job, all talk and no action. I am also a disgusting hairy beast and can't afford the laser removal, but that is neither here nor there. I am gradually learning that the only person who held me back all these years was myself (and I always knew that, deep down), but I can only achieve my goals if I forgive that person first.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Gymnasts!

seats because I rule at TicketMaster. I was going to go with my friend Erin but she rolled her ankle while crossing the street downtown (I still think it's karma for not voting in the election), so my mom and I went with my Grandma! I AM SOOOO COOL. Okay, who was there?


Today I went to the US Gymnastics Team Tour at the XCel Energy Center! We had floor

Shawn Johnson is absolutely adorable! I just want to put her in my pocket and feed her bread crumbs. We all loved her even though she is from Iowa.



NASTIA is really good but one of her routines was to that AWFULLL song "Butterfly Kisses", that really creepy one about the dad and his daughter and how he hates that she's growing up, and you can listen to it thinking it's a beautiful song about Christian family values, or you can be me and think that it's about a Joe Simpson who is obviously in love with his own daughter. Uggggh.



Shannon Miller is still doing the tours. She won a medal in Atlanta! I was at the Atlanta games but didn't see gymnastics because we didn't have that kind of money. Instead I saw softball and baseball, and my father is on some Australian blooper sports reel because a softball was pretty much in his lap but he had binoculars so he couldn't tell and it bounced off his crotch and some other bloke caught it. *Sigh*




Does anyone remember Blaine Wilson? He competed in '00 and '04 and during one of those years he did really bad and they kept cutting to his sister crying in the stands, and they weren't happy PhelpsMama tears but like upset, sibling, "Why are you sucking so bad??" tears. He was very good tonight, though, and if you Google him that boy has done more shirtless pictures than Marky Mark.



The Hamm Brothers were there! They both got injured which is why the US Men's team was all rookies. They did a routine to "Stronger" by Kanye West and it was really cool, but their voices still creep me out, and I sound like Sarah Palin when I talk.

Anyway, gymnastics isn't a "gay" sport. You don't have to be gay or a girl to enjoy it is a legitimate sporting event or, in this case, an exhibition of athletic talent. These people work insanely hard and have insanely bangin' bodies that will just make you depressed. My point is that my buying expensive tickets and getting great seats to this show have absolutely nothing to do with "cute boys" or whatever.

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/jakeyoftampa/horton44.jpg[/img]
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/jakeyoftampa/jhorton2.jpg[/img]




By the way, I LOVE YOU JONATHAN HORTON! I was so mad when the guy from the Gophers team dissed your Oklahoma! I still cheered when you missed that one landing! I loved that you were the only male gymnast to get his own solo routine and I was cheering the loudest! I love that you're a year older than me and that way I don't have to feel like a total creeper! It was so weird this afternoon because you had your shirt off the entire time and I was sitting next to my grandmother! I know you don't swing my way and if you did you would probably end up with someone who looks like Justin Spring anyway, but next time you're in town we should, y'know, go to a Twins game or whatever it is that .... guys ... do! You were my favorite Olympic athlete to watch this summer not because of your adorable Texas drawl or your admittedly bangin body but because while you were all of rookies and dreamers, when the cameras let us in you were always the one cheering the most and the loudest and trying to keep everybody positive even when things weren't going so great, and I felt that it was you that most exemplified your team's spirit of having hope and belief and never giving up and I think I need a drink of water!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Your son is hopelessly gay"
She told my father

Before this was said
I found her delightful
The 43-year-old local
Who bought me a drink

My father
The father of the hopelessly gay son
Later informed me
That she had five kids by five different dudes
And said she was the C-word
And said he never used the C-word

My father is not a saint
He was not always nice to me
When I was nine years old
In love with a boy named Danny
And letting everybody know about it

Then I got depressed at 13
And his light bulb went off
And he realized that having an alive gay son
Was better than having a dead son

This is the same man
Who saw me in a Caryl Churchill show
Complete with monologue about anonymous blow jobs

This is the same man
Who literally bled putting up my loft freshman year
As I had no athletic skills to offer

This is the same man
Who signed all my tardy slips senior year
Telling me 'someday you will find someone who loves you for you'
Wrongfully assuming my laziness was about a boy
The thought still counts

This is the same man
Who will always fight for me

"She said your son is hopelessly gay"
he told me in the truck
I said I was sorry
He said not to worry
I now wonder what to feel

In the movie in my mind
I move beyond Jake's Sports Cafe
Alas
There is no such thing as a successful lazy person
Ironically
I learned that from Walgreen's World Magazine
Time will tell